What is personality? What does it mean? Personality comes from the word persona and is defined as a relatively stable set of characteristics that remain consistent across similar situations. These are dynamic, relatively permanent, have both physical and psychological components, and are uniquely expressed in the form of behaviours in each individual. However, our own traits are not solely responsible for who we are and what we make of life. Significant people or people with whom we have shared significant experiences also play a role in the development of ourselves. Sometimes, these people or such experiences can have a life-changing impact on us. The following article is a report on two such personalities who have not only influenced but shaped me and are majorly responsible for who I am today and will be in the future –my father, Rajarshi Datta and my 11th and 12th grade psychology teacher, Ms. Utkarsha. Coincidentally, the time period during which they impacted me the most is the same – during my 11th grade in 2019.
ANECDOTES
Rajarshi Datta – the one who always believed in me
It was the month of February in 2019, my 11th grade final examinations had just gotten over and the situation at home was full of tension, hopelessness and frustration. I had performed terribly at school throughout the year. I was derailed, and hadn’t focused on medical coaching either. I was distracted, directionless and had no plan for my future. To top that off, I had even failed my final physics paper. That entire year was a total disaster.
It was night-time, way past my bedtime but I just couldn’t fall asleep. I was constantly ruminating about how, throughout that year, I had fooled myself and my parents into believing that I would pursue medicine and become a doctor, while in reality, I wanted to take up psychology. Truth is, I did not have the courage to own my mistake nor did I have the courage to face my parents, especially my father. How could I break his trust and shatter his dreams by telling him I was passionate about something other than medicine? The man had put his blood, sweat and tears into preparing me for NEET.
But I had to let it out of my system and tell him or else it would have eaten me alive. So, I took out a pen and a paper from my physics notebook, it was 11:50PM, and I started to write a letter to him. I did not have strength to confront him face-to-face. So, I spilled the truth and wrote my heart out in that letter. Every word I wrote broke me from inside and I couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it would hit my dad when he read it. Despite this, I mustered up the courage and placed it on his bed side table anyway.
The next morning, when I woke up, I saw my father, sitting on a chair, next to my bed. The letter I wrote was in his hands. I was apprehensive and anxious at the same time.
Father- Good Morning Mummum
Me- Good morning baba. I am guessing you have read my letter. I just want to say I am sorry. I swear I tried but it is just not me….
Father- It is okay, I understand. Mummum, I never wanted to force you into doing something you don’t want to do. You are my child, my blood and flesh. Whatever you decide to do, me and your mother will always support to do. We just want you to give your best and enjoy your life.
Hearing him say that, I got very emotional and hugged him.
This was the first time I had an open conversation with my father. I still have that letter with me, I re read it sometimes. It is the proof that I am alive and know what I want. It is also the proof that I have the unconditional love and support of my dad. That conversation lives rent-free in my head. I re-play it sometimes. It reminds me of how far I’ve come. This experience encapsulates the relation I have with my father in a perfect way. He is not overly involved in my life, but he is a constant supporter and believer of all my feats. He is quiet, kind and sees the good in everyone despite the negativity around him. He’s a team leader and knows how to work efficiently with a group. He is open to new experiences and loves to explore food and nature. He is trusting and helpful when his loved ones are in need. He stands by what is right and is a man of principles. On the big 5 personality test he would score high on conscientiousness, agreeableness and openness to experience. According to the classification of personalities based on humours by Hippocrates he would be considered a phlegmatic individual with choleric traits as well. My father keeps saying that whatever he is today, it is because of what he learnt from his father, my grandfather. So, his personality can also be connected to the Social-Learning approach- Albert Bandura’s Modelling Theory. My father also has a high self-esteem, so according to Abraham Maslow’s Need-Hierarchy Theory he has fulfilled his esteem needs and very close to fulfil his self-actualization needs
Ms. Utkarsha – the teacher who gave me direction when I was lost.
As mentioned in the previous anecdote, the academic year of 11th grade, was a roller- coaster ride that only went downhill. It was a terrible juncture in my life, and I saw possibly the worst of myself during that phase. Not only did I underperform academically, I failed at keeping my friends close to me and my health took a toll on me too. But like Yin and Yang, there’s always a beautiful phase that comes to balance the darkness in one’s life. That is precisely what I experienced.
Out of all the memories I have of 11th grade, this is the one I remember most vividly. For the first time in the corridors of Delhi Public School, Pune there was silence, decorum and fear. Ms. Utkarsha, sister of the very strict examination co-ordinator, had joined our campus replacing our Psychology teacher and was on her way to taking her first class. During her class, she was so surprised to see that none of the students were uttering even a word and asked us what the reason was for maintaining such pin drop silence; Well, we were scared! She perfectly resembled her sister, Ms. Swastika, whose name was synonymous with discipline and decorum at school.
But that’s not why that day was such a game changer. It was her 45-minute impactful class that opened my eyes and widened my view towards psychology, as a subject and a field. She said one sentence, “you don’t need to have an MBBS degree to help people in this world” and that struck a major chord within me. She was a psychologist herself. I even recall asking her if she was happy with her job as a counselling psychologist. She confidently said “Sulagna, in simple terms, it is like you are taking the entire world’s useless weight on you, but at the end of the day you know that somewhere down the line you are responsible for a person’s well-being” Hearing these words from someone who worked in a field that is considered unconventional and is surrounded with a plethora of myths and social stigma, ignited a spark in me that burns even today. Her words gave me – a self-doubting and directionless 11th grader – a purpose and meaning.
Over the next 18 months of school, she went on to nurture and instil in me some excellent skills and values. Utkarsha ma’am valued discipline and showcased traits like punctuality, meticulous
work and had an organized nature. She would score high on ‘conscientiousness’ in the OCEAN test. I remember how she pulled people up for wearing ankle socks instead of uniform socks in school! She is extremely thoughtful, even-tempered and shows shades of ‘phlegmatic’ personality but is also very rigid about her opinions, reserved and depicts traits of melancholic nature at times too. She was not agreeable at all, rather was very critical of people around
She seemed to strike a comfortable balance in her life and was very intelligent when she had to adapt to new surroundings. According to the Charak Samhita, an ayurvedic treatise, per personality falls within the sattva and rajas guna. In Catell’s source traits (factors) of personality she would get a high score (Factor A)- Outgoing, warm-hearted, easy-going. In Eyesenck’s personality dimensions, she would score high on Extraversion, emotional stability and impulse control
Till today, Utkarsha ma’am has been an inspiration and a role model to me. Although she taught me only for 2 years, I’ve learnt the most from her classes. Be it psychology or relationship advice, she taught it all! She not only motivated me in my academic pursuits but also extracurricular endeavours that I took up in college like theatre, CSA, etc.
Parallels between the two personalities
Both these individuals are similar more than different from each other. They prefer structure and order in life. They like to have things planned out and do not like to live on a moment-to-moment, ‘take life as it comes’ basis. They work efficiently in a team and know how to guide people under them too. Both believe in the principle of hard-work and preach that too. They are persistent and principled individuals. On the negative side, they have very strict, extreme beliefs that they do not question. They have a rigid mindset at times which may be resistant to change too.
CONCEPTS
HIPPOCRATES TYPE APPROACH
The Greek physician Hippocrates had proposed a typology of personality based on fluid or humour. He classified people into four types- sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic and choleric; each characterized by specific behavioural features
ALBERT BANDURA- MODELLING THEORY
Observational learning- Learning new responses by observing the behaviour of other people
Vicarious reinforcement- Learning or strengthening a behaviour by observing the behaviour of others, and the consequences of the behaviour, rather than experiencing the reinforcement or consequences directly
Bandura’s basic idea is that learning can occur through observation or example rather than solely by direct reinforcement as a way to influence behaviour, but he challenges the notion that learned or changed only through direct reinforcement
The bobo doll experiment is a crucial part of this theory
EYSENCK’S THEORY
H.J Eysenck proposed that personality could be reduced into two broad dimensions. These are biologically and genetically based.
Neuroticism vs. emotional stability- Refers to the degree to which people have control over their feelings. At one extreme there is neurotic- anxious, moody, touchy, restless and quick to lose control. On the other hand, there is emotionally stable- calm, even tempered, reliable and remain under control
Extraversion vs. introversion- refers to the degree to which people are socially outgoing or socially withdrawn. At on extreme there are extraverted people- active, gregarious, impulsive and thrill-seeking. On the other hand there is introvert- passive, quiet, cautious and reserved.
CATTELL- PERSONALITY FACTORS
Raymond Cattell believed that there is a common structure on which people differ from each other. The structure could be determined empirically, He tried to identify the primary traits from a huge array of descriptive adjectives found in language. He applied a statistical technique factor analysis to discover the common structures. He found 16 primary or source traits. The source traits are stable and considered to be the building blocks of personality. The surface traits are built on these source traits. The 16 PF questionnaire is based on this theory
TRIGUNAS
Sattva guna- incudes attributes like cleanliness, truthfulness, dutifulness, detachment, discipline etc.
Raja guna- intense activity, desire for sense gratification, envy for others and materialistic mentality
Tamas guna- characterises anger, arrogance, depression, laziness, helplessness etc.
All three gunas are present in everyone, in different degrees.
ABRAHAM MASLOW- HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
Maslow’s model can be conceptualized as a pyramid in which the bottom of this pyramid represents the basic biological needs followed by safety needs- need to be free from threats, followed by need to belong (social needs) followed by esteem needs (need to develop a need of self-worth) then finally self- actualization needs (self-aware, socially responsive, creative, open to novelty and challenge
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