Can Depression ever be a friend? Well, for most people, it is considered as an enemy. To be honest, to some extent, it does rob one's joy, happiness, and confidence. Ever wondered what would be a to-be psychologist's take on it?
Dear Depression,
It’s been a long time that we haven’t seen each other since April. I just wanted to thank you for teaching me a lesson for life, and for guiding me.
Well, before I express my gratitude, first, I want you to know that now I am in the field of my choice, “Psychology”. Hey! Don’t be afraid of that word, I know that it might sound like a police officer saying a thief not to worry about law and order. Still, I wanted to assure you that now as I have joined this field I gonna change the perception which people and especially youngsters have of you and your cousins Anxiety, Stress, and Panic.
Well, it is also true that you are neither friend nor an enemy of anyone. I remember you as my enemy when you robbed me of my happiness when I was flying high with beautiful colors thinking that I am on top of the world. And now, I consider you not as my enemy but as a well-wisher who guided me. I know that you would wonder why I used the word “well-wisher” for someone who is regarded as an enemy of joy and at large humanity.
I am sure that you were jealous of my friendship with Ego. That is why you entered my life and forced me to keep a distance from it. I thought Ego is my best friend, helping me reach higher peaks of success. Also, no one can deny that Ego is a very possessive and influential friend. I will be honest, I thought Ego is a powerful friend who will force me to study harder, and I did not understand that Ego is an enemy in disguise.
When I went to Kota, Rajasthan, the epic IIT/ engineer’s factory, I thought I am someone special as I was admitted to one of the most elite batches of one of the most elite coaching of India. This elite batch which produced few of the India’s best JEE-Adv. ranks (namely AIR-22) made my friendship with Ego even closer than ever. Initially, in 11th I was doing good, but somehow in 12th (with no fault of mine), my performance degraded. I started taking my mentor’s scolding to heart as before entering this factory I had a record of never getting scolded in my student life. Then, one day when I started investigating why am I feeling so weak and sleepy with a lack of focus, and I found that I was suffering from Diabetes. With time, my health was deteriorating. I tried my best to cope up, but I was failing to do so. I don’t know exactly when you entered my life, but I still remember the nights I had cried having you as my company. By the end of last year, I met your cousins too, Panic and Anxiety. Do you remember what is the funny part? In January, when I was hospitalized four times for High BP and sugar, I thought that I had a heart attack and doctors weren’t able to figure out what I suffer from. Even when I was recovering, I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms of prolonged high blood sugar and soon developed hypochondriasis. Also, just a month ago before board exams, I fell from a staircase. X-ray was done of my legs and some foolish doctor told that even though I didn’t have any fracture, I am suffering from a very rare bone disorder which might be cancerous. Even after all this, I didn’t become friends with you, but when I almost fainted down while writing my physics board paper, I was into full-blown friendship with you. Maybe all my hope shattered, all because before exams my teachers predicted that I will be at least a state topper in boards and it was like the sky fell on me because I thought I was about to fail.
After that, we became best friends; I cried in your arms almost every night. It was under your influence I broke my friendship with Ego. Most importantly, I was away from all my connections with friends and family. Though my family was super supportive, still, there was a point of time when I had not a single person to talk my heart out to. Then, it was you who forced me to practice solitude and introspect. Initially, I thought it was not my fault, but soon after I realized that I should take entire responsibility for myself, and concluded that it was me who skipped his exercises and slept for just 2-3 hrs each night for weeks in continuation. Because of such habits, I neglected my health; I forgot that a healthy mind stays in a healthy body only. Also, it was you, my dear, who made me realized that I am just as another student who can achieve anything but not everything, a student who is neither greater than any nor smaller but just a STUDENT.
Yes, my friend, it is true that I didn’t want to join IIT. I was forced to pursue it because I didn’t know which field I should pursue. Still, it was me who was responsible for my karma (actions). I always wanted to pursue psychology, but I didn’t dare to pursue it initially.
Thank you very much, I don’t know how to express my gratitude in words; you changed my life completely. You made me a responsible person because before the exam results were declared I could say that “It’s okay, I need to take full responsibility for my failures, only then, I will be able to take full credit for my success.” Results came, I didn’t top it but the score was much better than expected and I just passed all my exams with really good marks. With your company, I surely have cried and had the worst of my days concerning my emotional wellbeing, but with no doubt, I can say that your company taught me more than any other period of my life. You taught me humility and integrity. You increased my courage to pursue psychology by bringing me to my rock-bottom so that I lose my fear of falling. Each one of you taught me something important, even Diabetes taught me discipline and self-control. These incidents and our intersection of the crossing path made me realize the correct direction in which I should go…
I don’t know to express my gratitude well… forgive me and thank you, once again, for being a part of my life to guide me. I shall never forget your contribution to my success. One day, surely, I will change the youngster’s perceptions towards you. As you are neither a friend nor an enemy but if your company is present, then it’s high time for that person to change, change for the good.
Thanking you from the bottom of my heart,
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Psychophilic
(To-be psychologist)
Conclusion:
By reading this open letter you must have understood that we can learn from almost anything and most importantly from our past experience. Also, when it's depression, we must not think of it as an enemy or friend, but a well-wisher who wants us to walk on the correct path.
(Well, sometimes, it might not be true as in the case of depression due to biological or neurological reasons).
Note: This is not any medical or professional advice, we encourage you to seek professional help if you face any mental health issue.
What have we learned?
Sometimes, depression can act as an indicator that it's high time you must change for your own welfare.
Depression is a serious issue and we must seek professional help as soon as possible.
Introspection is one of the best methods to prevent any mistakes to reoccur. Therefore, acts as an effective tool to learn.
We must regularly do self-check if we are doing okay, if not then analyze the reasons and eliminate the causes.
Lastly, but not least we must give our overall health first priority. When I say health, it means physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and mental (or psychological).
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